Dietary Probation

2 Oct

This morning, I stepped on the scale for the first time in a long time. I was not pleased with what I saw. Since moving to Jacksonville in August, I have gained 7lbs. Talk about a rude awakening! I was flabbergasted. Have I really been that bad? Then I thought about all the crap I’ve eaten over the past two months: calzones, cookies, cakes, tons of white bread (Sorry, French Pantry, I’m throwing you under the bus), goodies from Starbucks, french fries, wings, fast food, fried pork chops, gravy, bacon, you name it, I ate it (and it was delicious.. shh.. I didn’t just say that).

Yes, I have been THAT BAD.

I cannot continue to make excuses and ignore my poor eating choices. I’ve surrounded myself with unhealthy options. I’ve talked myself into indulging repeatedly. I’ve blamed the half-marathon training for my overwhelming appetite. I’ve kidded myself into thinking it’s all been in moderation. What a joke! There has been nothing moderate about the amount of crap I’ve consumed over the past month and a half. I’ve been weak. I’m disappointed in myself. I know that I can do better than this. I want to be healthy. I can feel such a difference in my body now that I’m not eating as clean as I was. The sugar, white flour, preservatives, and processed foods are making my skin go insane and I feel lethargic. I want my energy back. I want to feel good again.

For a brief moment, I thought about going back on SparkPeople. But, I don’t want to DIET. I want to LIVE. This is about my quality of life. So, I’m starting over. I’m not going to have weekly weigh-ins. I’m not going to count calories. I’m going to judge my success based on how I feel. Maybe in a month or so, I’ll step on the scale. We’ll see.

I started this morning out the right way. Instead of bringing my leftover calzone from last night, I made a salad with a little feta and balsamic vinaigrette. I packed a banana and some oatmeal for breakfast; Hummus, carrots and a flatbread cracker for snack. We all know that one decision leads to another, and if I start with good ones, I’m more likely to continue to make good decisions. If I surround myself with healthy options, I can make the right choice. But if there’s a cookie, and I REALLY want it, I just might have it.

I’m not going to create a dietary prison for myself. It’s more like dietary probation.

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4 Responses to “Dietary Probation”

  1. Angie Eats Peace October 2, 2009 at 2:19 pm #

    I could have written this post, too. I am so right there with you.
    Let's enjoy probation together 🙂

  2. Courtney October 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm #

    You have the best attitude for changing your dietary habits. I totally agree with you — I don't go to sparkpeople.com, I don't count calories, I never weigh myself, and I don't restrict myself from having that cookie if I REALLY want it. It's been amazing to see how eating more raw, whole food will improve your skin and energy levels. Sounds like you set yourself up for success today! Good luck!

  3. Lauren October 2, 2009 at 4:34 pm #

    It could also be stress from moving and the new job. Just stay positive and once things settle down you can get back into the regular exercise and healthy eating.

    I've been doing the same thing though. I've been stressed about a few things and haven't exercised all week and eating fatty foods. But they taste so good and it feels so good to be lazy haha.

  4. Meredith October 3, 2009 at 12:21 am #

    I too am on dietary probation. But really I feel like I'm in a twilight zone. I want to make good choices but everywhere I look there are bad choices (birthday cookie cake, food from friends due to the death). I want to scream! I can do so much better if there are decent choices. I'm up 3.5 lbs, 2 since last week. I am not happy!

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